Characteristics of the Verbal Assailant
If you've had a job for very long, you've probably heard these kinds of hostile words before. Did it happen to you? Where you the person making the proposal? Or, please don’t leave now, where you the person making the comment.
Verbal Assailants
Verbal assailants can be directly hostile to you or vent their open hostility to others with the knowledge that their comments will undoubtedly get back to you. So, they do it most of the time on purpose and if possible not in your presence.
Verbal assailants are often people with low self-esteem. In their insecurity, they belittle you in order to build themselves up. And, when they're successful, you pay the price. But, have this in mind: only i exceptional situation they will openly vent a critic.
Nevertheless, they want to get you emotionally involved in the no-win situations they set up. Then they feel superior to you when their verbal attacks succeed. So, guess what, don’t let yourself participate into their game.
Their game If you get hooked and try to play their game by their rules, you'll always lose. That's because verbal assailants create the game and its rules to their advantage. And, it’s noisy. And, you already have things to do. And, you lose energy for nothing.
Understanding verbal assailants
But, when you can identify the characteristics of verbal assailants, you take a big step toward being able to deal with their hostile-aggressive behavior. So, based on your experience, how can verbal assailants best be described?
Hostile-aggressive verbal assailants: 1. are often derisive in the comments they make about others. 2. are frequently patronizing as they put others down. 3. are often highly judgmental in their criticism of others. What do you think? In fact, verbal assailants can be all three: derisive, patronizing, and judgmental.
Verbal assailants make statements intended to deride or hurt individuals. Their comments are not meant as constructive feedback, but instead to help them feel better about themselves. Because hostile-aggressive verbal assailants often have low self-esteem, they build themselves up by tearing others down. They will speak down to others in order to feel superior.
A verbal assailant is not interested in helping others with their feedback. Instead, their words are often bitingly critical and intended to make the other person feel bad about himself. This topic So, most people have had experiences with hostile-aggressive people. We are not special at all if we can give at least 3 recent examples. As we have seen, there are three main characteristics of active - aggressors who act out as verbal assailants.
In this topic, you'll learn that verbal assailants can be: • derisive • patronizing • judgmental. It can be disheartening when you realize you're the target of hostile aggression from a verbal assailant. Even a known verbal assailant may catch you at an unexpected moment or in an awkward situation.
But, if knowledge is power, then knowing the traits of the aggressor may ease the circumstances for you. The situation may not be pleasant, but you'll at least understand what is happening.
Derisive
Verbal assailants often use derisive taunts in their assaults. They belittle others to throw them off guard. They often raise sarcastic comments to a nasty art form. They seem to revel in escalating their negative remarks to new heights and new targets.
Derisive comments are meant to put someone down. For example, "You've got to be a moron to approach the project that way. What are you thinking of, anyway?"
Patronizing
Verbal assailants frequently make patronizing comments. They ridicule others with backhanded compliments or condemn with faint praise falsely given. By patronizing others, verbal assailants believe they elevate themselves above the targets of their assaults.
Patronizing comments are meant to put someone down. For example, "That's not too bad for someone with your lack of experience. I suggest that you get some help to polish it before the presentation."
Judgmental
Verbal assailants are critically judgmental of others--friends and foes alike. They commonly employ negative barbs as they pronounce their judgments concerning the faults of those around them. They act as though they have a given right to judge others.
Judgmental comments are meant to identify and pass judgment on the faults of others--real or otherwise. For example, "Jim really doesn't seem capable of understanding the issues we face on this project."
Next
To conclude this lesson, identifying verbal assailants in the workplace becomes easier when you know their characteristics. The words they use and the way they use them are clear, important indicators of their aggressive behavior.
Knowing the characteristics of hostile-aggressive verbal assailants will enable you to cope with their derisive, patronizing, or judgmental behavior. In the next video we are going to practice together ways of dealing with verbal assailants.
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