After completing this lesson, you will be able to apply strategies to deal with verbal assailants in given business scenarios. And for this we are going to focus more on practical real-life situations. "Jim, if you cared about the design department, you wouldn't complain about the new procedure so much."
Or how about "Jane, any well-trained budget analyst should realize that's not an effective format for presenting the projections to the planning committee"? Both statements illustrate the verbal assailant's most common form of hostile-aggressive behavior: stating a negative presumption about the person who is the target of the attack.
Emotional Involvement
Negative presumptions are especially effective "nets" used by the verbal assailant to snare his victims and pull them into emotional involvement. Verbal assailants try to set up no-win situations for their victims. How do you react when you're the victim? Do you have a tendency to fall into the trap and get emotionally involved when a verbal assailant is on the scene?
Avoid Getting Trapped Your goal is to avoid getting trapped. In this topic, you'll learn how to apply three effective strategies for handling the verbal assailant in the workplace:
- respond directly to the negative presumption,
- confront the verbal assailant, and
- don't take the attacks personally.
Jim's reaction to the accusation that he didn't care about the design department was "Actually, I do care." And Jane responded, "What makes you think I'm not well-trained?" to the charge that her presentation was ineffective. Responding directly to the negative presumption is your first strategy for dealing with a verbal assailant.
Don't get trapped into responding defensively to an insulting accusation. That's exactly what the verbal assailant wants you to do. Jim and Jane have both learned from past workplace experiences how to avoid getting pulled into a no-win situation with a verbal assailant. They were self-confident and composed in their responses.
Respond Directly
Responding directly to the negative presumption is a good first strategy to use with a verbal assailant. This kind of response deflates the hostility of the situation and sets the tone for resolution.
Jim could question the motives of his assailant by asking questions like "Do you really believe I don't care about the department?" "Have I said or done something else that gave you that impression?" "Do you agree that my concerns about the procedure have a reasonable basis?"
Confronting the Verbal Assailant
Jane will have the option to confront Rod, her verbal assailant, after he made a remark in a staff meeting implying she wasn't well- trained for her job. Jane confronts Rod directly on his negative presumption and then brought his real concerns into the open. Happy endings occur when negative presumptions are exposed and real issues are addressed and resolved.
Confronting the verbal assailant is a good coping technique to use with a co-worker or a subordinate. The air is cleared when all parties involved clearly agree what issues really exist. Don't take the attacks personally The third and final coping strategy is to avoid taking the verbal assailant's attack personally. You need to remain calm while rising above the no-win challenge the verbal assailant has tried to induce.
This is an especially effective technique if the verbal assailant is your supervisor or a customer. Both Jim and Jane have to respond calmly to their assailants. They are able to do so because they responded in a professional manner and didn't take the attacks personally. An effective statement could be "I really don't want to discuss that." Such a statement puts the verbal assailant on notice that you won't play whatever no-win game she has planned.
The Strategy You want to take an approach similar to the one taken by both Jane and Jim. You should use their strategies for coping with any verbal assailant you encounter in the workplace. The two strategies discussed so far--confronting the verbal assailant and responding directly to his negative presumptions--support this third strategy of refusing to take his attack personally.
Remain calm
Your ability to remain calm when under assault is a strong defense against a verbal assailant. For example, "I really don't understand your attitude" is a calm response to a verbal assailant's unwarranted attack against you. Rise above the no-win game. You don't want to get trapped in a no-win game set up by a verbal assailant.
Saying "I don't agree that I was mistaken in my approach" is an example of avoiding a no-win situation in which the assailant said or implied your approach was wrong. Refusing to take the assault personally is a good strategy to use with a verbal assailant.
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Full course: https://www.udemy.com/working-with-aggressive-people/?couponCode=C2L
